Grizzly, I think this is what is called a writing style. I write in a certain way developed over quite a long period of time. Changing it would not only sound insincere, it would be insincere. I would hope that on occasions you would see that I try to inject a little humour (maybe not always successfully) and try not to take myself too seriously.

Incidentally, 'hiv' is the Dundonian pronunciation. Assuming you're from the West of Scotland it should be 'huv'.